‘Silence is not an absence of sound but rather a shifting of attention toward sounds that speak to the soul.’ Thomas Moore
As I open the curtains and patio doors, the sunlight floods into the apartment. The only noise is the sound of the birds chatting away and me going about my morning routine. I find the quiet comforting and my morning rituals meditative. I am not ready to let in noise, and as I sit down to savour my fresh coffee, I am happy to spend time alone with my thoughts about the day ahead.
But fast forward to the end of the day and I don’t find silence as comforting. I am not one of those people who falls asleep as soon as Continue reading →
I dream of being *that* person, you know, the person who is comfortable in their own skin, the person who genuinely doesn’t care what other people think of them, the person who accepts themselves just the way they are.
But I am *this* person: I am insecure about pretty much every part of me. It starts as I wake up – in my comforting foetal position, I can feel my little pot belly hang over onto the bed; I’m sure it’s the first thing I am aware of every morning. And it kind of goes from there…
I have bad dark circles under my eyes, I’ve always had them, it’s just the way I am made. You think I would have moved to acceptance at the age of 41, but no, I am paranoid about them; I Continue reading →
I could not get into my groove last week: I wanted to hide from the world, just stop (and never start again if possible). I was running a permanent fantasy in my head of climbing back under the duvet and staying there until, well until I could be bothered with life again. But I forced myself to ‘show up’ for everything, in an attempt to jump-start my sparkle. I did my usual feel good tactics: exercise, best friend therapy, writing, reading inspirational stories, a lovely weekend with friends and Hubby. I even threw in some Daniel Craig and Green and Black’s for good measure. But none of it was enough to shift the grey mood. (And I definitely don’t suit grey, my mood is normally red or pink or purple.)
As I spoke to other friends, I soon realised I was not alone. Whether it was going back to work, the weather (which was stormy and blustery here) or the post-Christmas sugar Continue reading →
It’s been a strange couple of weeks. I think I have operated as two people, two people who couldn’t be more different, two people who don’t seem to belong together. One of them has had a wonderful time, whilst the other, well, not so much.
Some of you will know I have dabbled with Reiki recently – this is part of my continued ‘nail complete recovery’ package. Whilst it is true that I am better than I was, which of course, is fantastic, I am not able to do as much as a normal person, if indeed there is such a thing as normal. But I do I aspire to be as healthy and well as I can be, and for this I still have work to do. Continue reading →