I looked around for a comfy chair, or a bed, or maybe the floor would do. Yes, I could just curl up in the corner by the escalator… No, I can make it upstairs, make it to Mike and then… My head was spinning, I felt sick and anxious; I felt separate to the world around me. I made it upstairs – Mike was trying on some boots. I sat down on one of the stools in the shoe department and hugged my handbag to me like a comfort blanket. It was 11 am, I was meeting a friend at 1 pm to go out for lunch and then to the theatre. Two hours felt like a very long time away. I hugged my bag tighter. Emma rang and I shared that I was having a meltdown in TKMaxx. Her Continue reading
My groove is officially back – I may not be donning lycra (or fashioning a pillow face on Graham Norton) but my world has returned to its vibrant colourful state, and the grey has vanished as mysteriously as it arrived. Continue reading
For as long as I can remember I have been goal orientated, maybe it started with the lure of those gold stars at school. From focusing on achieving good grades, to aspiring to a
good excellent performance rating at work, to setting targets on recovery, I have always been motivated by achieving results. I currently have goals for writing, fitness, health and refurbishment. Every week I plan my diary around what I WILL achieve. For example, my weekly targets are: 15 hours of writing, four circuit training sessions, and one yoga session. I then schedule all my ‘dull’ stuff, such as domestic nonsense (I even have targets for cleaning!) and ‘fun’ around this. And I also like knowing that the Continue reading
‘Gratitude is the most exquisite form of courtesy.’ Jaques Maritain
Over the last couple of weeks, I have found myself thinking about all the things I haven’t achieved this year: the apartment refurbishment that isn’t quite finished, that I am not the successful writer I aspire to be, the jelly belly that hasn’t reached its optimistic six-pack status. There is something about the end of the year approaching that makes me reflect on where I am at in my life. Maybe it is simply that I am reminded of the precious nature of time and that another year has passed. Or maybe it is all the inevitable articles that are out there on getting ready for success in 2012.
Now don’t get me wrong, I will not be producing a detailed 2011 end of year report on results Vs goals, but I am in a period of reflection. Actually no, it’s not reflection – it’s Continue reading
But recently I have found myself struggling to say the right thing. There are three ladies who I follow on Twitter who are dealing with cancer; they tweet their way through their battles with honesty, braveness and humour.
But of course, by choosing to share their stories in public (for which I am in no way criticising – that would be a tad pot and kettle ha), they are inviting responses to their situations. And I find myself worrying about what the right response is. Have I got the balance between empathy and humour? Will it make them smile? What if I say the wrong thing? Continue reading