The Bad Wife

‘I got accepted.’

‘Oh honey, that’s amazing, I’m so pleased for you…’

I got off the phone and felt unsettled; unwelcome feelings overwhelmed me, stomping around as if they were wearing heavy boots. I am so pleased for him, and so proud of him, so proud. But… well… well, I’m jealous. There, I said it. What about me? I want something exciting to happen in my life. I want to do something life changing.

And it happens, doesn’t it? Friends or family share good news and we are pleased for them, but… But, it can also shine a bright light over our own unfulfilled wants and Continue reading

Dependence Daze

When I was younger I was fiercely independent, both financially and in spirit; I was as career oriented and ambitious as many of my male peers, if not more so; I didn’t ever harbor childhood fantasies of skipping down the aisle in a big white dress; and the maternal gene clearly got lost on its way to me.

But when I met Mike, I developed this irrational desire to be married. I was 33, still had no maternal feelings, but wanted to create a special, permanent bond with this man. Not because I wanted to be looked after, or provided for (although that is exactly how it has worked Continue reading