Damn you, Tigger

Stephanie's peace.

Stephanie’s peace. (Photo credit: Natashalatrasha)

Oh, hello, you lovely lot…

So, that damn Tigger is being rather elusive. Despite intensive Green and Black’s therapy, and okay, I admit, some wine therapy too, the bugger is nowhere to be seen, and I appear to be having a pretty serious relapse. (Oh yeah, my recovery plan is totally on track!)

But something weird is going on – I seem to have found a sense of peace with what has happened and, dare I say, a level of acceptance. I know it sounds ridiculous, but even after all these years, I have always struggled to accept the CFS. I’ve always wanted to fight it, scared that acceptance would in some way be giving in. But this time I feel Continue reading

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Tears, Tantrums and Tigger

English: Bad Luck Marbles sent to Langkawi

English: Bad Luck Marbles sent to Langkawi (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It was a tough few months, the CFS crash between April and August of this year, the days stuck at home plastered to the sofa. But I survived – just – and I was ready to enjoy my reward: normal life. I got over excited about being reunited with my trainers and enthusiastically jumped around the lounge, happy to hear Jillian Michaels shout at me; I started filling my diary with lunches, meals out, trips to the theatre, and weekends away; I reunited with my writing plans, determinedly working out my route from Blogger to Grazia. Continue reading

Have you got ‘IT’?

No wine, for a month (a MONTH – is it an overreaction to cry?), the email from my nutritionist suggested; the email had other recommendations too, but they didn’t reach my consciousness – I think there was something about no Green and Black’s, but I’m not sure – NO WINE was running on repeat. NO WINE.

Since receipt of said email, I have had a rather lively internal debate over whether I can do this or not. I know, I sound pathetic don’t I? And I am slightly worried that just the thought of going without wine is causing me so much angst: what does this say about me? Have I got a drink problem? Am I seriously lacking in the willpower department? (Oh God, both of these?) Continue reading