Me, Peter Andre and Mexico

IMG_2350I feel like a different person. It may only be a few weeks ago but she – the sad and unwell shadow of me – already seems like a stranger. If I stop and force my mind, I can take myself to her: I was so exhausted even having a shower was a major effort; I was so stressed that tears were on permanent standby, ready to fall at the smallest upset; I felt desperate, crawling slowly through each day. I did my best to trust that the situation was temporary and that it – the heavy black cloud of CFS – would lift, but when you are feeling this awful you don’t believe you will ever feel normal again.

But I do. And it’s glorious. GLORIOUS.

It may be the physical that takes you down, but somewhere, in the messiness and unpleasantness of being unwell, the mind gets in on the act, and  you get stuck – and in my experience it’s the mind that plays a big part of getting you unstuck and out the other side. Continue reading

Ooh, hello 2013

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! (Photo credit: Rinoninha)

Hey my lovelies,

I just wanted to pop in and wish you all a wonderful New Year – may it be full of love, laughter and adventure.

I know I have been quiet of late (always reason for suspicion). Unfortunately, I’ve not been very well over the last few weeks. I won’t bore you with the details – I’ve got Husband for that, the lucky man – but let’s just say it’s been more of a sofa season than a party season.

I must say, this is not quite the bold start to my year I had envisaged. Maybe I will start my new year in February. Yes, February, it is. The fashionably late start to the year, but oh what an entrance it will be.

Lots of new year love to you all, and I’ll see you soon…


‘Tis the season to be pampered

Hey my lovely blogging friends…

I just wanted to wish you all lots of festive love – I hope Santa’s sack is the generous kind, the Baileys will be flowing, and you wear your Christmas jumper with pride.

We are going away for the week, staying in a beautiful lodge in Cirencester, set among a nature reserve, overlooking lakes, with a spa on site. A spa! I must have been REALLY good this year…

See you soon,



London refreshes the parts Homeland cannot reach

London - Columbia Road Flower Market

London – Columbia Road Flower Market (Photo credit: shootingjaydred)

Sometimes life feels small: day-to-day routines and responsibilities hungrily eat time, days merge together, and by Friday you realise the most exciting thing you have done all week is catch up on last week’s Homeland. And that’s fine, sometimes curling up on the sofa in my PJs, with Husband, a glass of wine, and Brody is exactly what I want, exactly what I need – a lazy distraction at the end of the day. For most of us, life isn’t exciting every day, well, I guess unless you’re a multimillionaire and you have a team of people to shield you from the boring bits. Oh… Imagine. How wonderful. ‘I’m sorry that’s way too dull for me, please pass it on to my people.’ (Although, I’m sure millionaires still watch Homeland.) Continue reading

Tears, Tantrums and Tigger

English: Bad Luck Marbles sent to Langkawi

English: Bad Luck Marbles sent to Langkawi (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It was a tough few months, the CFS crash between April and August of this year, the days stuck at home plastered to the sofa. But I survived – just – and I was ready to enjoy my reward: normal life. I got over excited about being reunited with my trainers and enthusiastically jumped around the lounge, happy to hear Jillian Michaels shout at me; I started filling my diary with lunches, meals out, trips to the theatre, and weekends away; I reunited with my writing plans, determinedly working out my route from Blogger to Grazia. Continue reading