Raven, with her hood down, meditating. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
You know those warnings you get before certain TV programmes?: ‘This show contains scenes that some viewers may find disturbing?’ Well, I feel I should start this post with a warning. Not that what you’re about to read is of a violent nature, or sexually graphic, but more that I am in danger of drifting into areas which may initiate the eye roll manoeuvre. So, be warned: ‘You are now entering a zone where words such as journey, spiritual, and awakening may be used, words which some readers may find nauseating.’ I understand if you need to step away – immediately.
You see, there is an unexpected, and rather pleasant, twist to my current situation. If I was to use words without feeling self-conscious, I would say I am on a spiritual path (I did warn you), but to say that makes my own eyes roll, let alone yours. When Continue reading
As I skip along my healing path, being present, living in the moment (yes, I have been reading The Power of Now, and yes, I am a healing cliché), I know I shouldn’t have checked, that there was nothing to be gained by knowing. But… well, I have no good reason, I just got curious: it’s been nearly six months since I have been well enough to see any friends or family (well, apart from my husband, obviously, or that would just be weird). And, as I knew would be the case, knowing this has not helped me in any way. But, too late, I know.
I have missed birthday lunches with my girlfriends. I have missed Friday evening drinks and loud laughing – probably too loud for others close by – with friends as we let in the weekend fun. I have missed weekends away. I have missed family celebrations. Continue reading
Stephanie’s peace. (Photo credit: Natashalatrasha)
Oh, hello, you lovely lot…
So, that damn Tigger is being rather elusive. Despite intensive Green and Black’s therapy, and okay, I admit, some wine therapy too, the bugger is nowhere to be seen, and I appear to be having a pretty serious relapse. (Oh yeah, my recovery plan is totally on track!)
But something weird is going on – I seem to have found a sense of peace with what has happened and, dare I say, a level of acceptance. I know it sounds ridiculous, but even after all these years, I have always struggled to accept the CFS. I’ve always wanted to fight it, scared that acceptance would in some way be giving in. But this time I feel Continue reading
Hey my lovelies,
Just wanted to pop in and say hello.
Long time no blogging, eh… I blame my husband. He rudely gave me a bug a few weeks ago (note to Husband, I prefer presents, expensive presents) and I just can’t bounce back.
Oh yes, we’ve been here before, haven’t we? You know the drill: rest, rest, rest, go slightly crazy, eat Green and Black’s, drink wine, rest some more, find my inner Tigger, bounce back. Easy!
Tigger and I will see you soon…
Lots of Easter love to you all.
I feel like a different person. It may only be a few weeks ago but she – the sad and unwell shadow of me – already seems like a stranger. If I stop and force my mind, I can take myself to her: I was so exhausted even having a shower was a major effort; I was so stressed that tears were on permanent standby, ready to fall at the smallest upset; I felt desperate, crawling slowly through each day. I did my best to trust that the situation was temporary and that it – the heavy black cloud of CFS – would lift, but when you are feeling this awful you don’t believe you will ever feel normal again.
But I do. And it’s glorious. GLORIOUS.
It may be the physical that takes you down, but somewhere, in the messiness and unpleasantness of being unwell, the mind gets in on the act, and you get stuck – and in my experience it’s the mind that plays a big part of getting you unstuck and out the other side. Continue reading