Four Holidays and a Funeral

IMG_2442‘Been there, done that, worn out the T-shirt…’ Karen Cripps, Christmas 2013

Well, that born again optimist was not to be trusted. As I was enjoying reconnecting with my good friends, hope and possibility, the bitch payback rudely showed up, and with her usual charm put an instant stop to the party. Apparently, my body needed some time to recover from its most recent black hole adventure. (Honestly, body, enough!) Much of the festive season was spent in bed, listening to meditations and dozing, whilst the sound of laughter and chatting drifted up the stairs. I dipped into the festivities as and when the energy allowed – to get fed if nothing else (and with two foodies in the house, getting fed was definitely worth the effort). I did my best to fix my face to Continue reading

Me, me, me…

Raven, with her hood down, meditating.

Raven, with her hood down, meditating. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You know those warnings you get before certain TV programmes?: ‘This show contains scenes that some viewers may find disturbing?’ Well, I feel I should start this post with a warning. Not that what you’re about to read is of a violent nature, or sexually graphic, but more that I am in danger of drifting into areas which may initiate the eye roll manoeuvre. So, be warned: ‘You are now entering a zone where words such as journey, spiritual, and awakening may be used, words which some readers may find nauseating.’ I understand if you need to step away – immediately.

You see, there is an unexpected, and rather pleasant, twist to my current situation. If I was to use words without feeling self-conscious, I would say I am on a spiritual path (I did warn you), but to say that makes my own eyes roll, let alone yours. When Continue reading

Forget Me Not

imageAs I skip along my healing path, being present, living in the moment (yes, I have been reading The Power of Now, and yes, I am a healing clichΓ©), I know I shouldn’t have checked, that there was nothing to be gained by knowing. But… well, I have no good reason, I just got curious: it’s been nearly six months since I have been well enough to see any friends or family (well, apart from my husband, obviously, or that would just be weird). And, as I knew would be the case, knowing this has not helped me in any way. But, too late, I know.

I have missed birthday lunches with my girlfriends. I have missed Friday evening drinks and loud laughing – probably too loud for others close by – with friends as we let in the weekend fun. I have missed weekends away. I have missed family celebrations. Continue reading

Damn you, Tigger

Stephanie's peace.

Stephanie’s peace. (Photo credit: Natashalatrasha)

Oh, hello, you lovely lot…

So, that damn Tigger is being rather elusive. Despite intensive Green and Black’s therapy, and okay, I admit, some wine therapy too, the bugger is nowhere to be seen, and I appear to be having a pretty serious relapse. (Oh yeah, my recovery plan is totally on track!)

But something weird is going on – I seem to have found a sense of peace with what has happened and, dare I say, a level of acceptance. I know it sounds ridiculous, but even after all these years, I have always struggled to accept the CFS. I’ve always wanted to fight it, scared that acceptance would in some way be giving in. But this time I feel Continue reading

Believe It or Not

Behavior Engineering and programming psychology

Behavior Engineering and programming psychology (Photo credit: HikingArtist.com)

I’m constantly amazed at how I’m really not that good at this life lark, despite 41 years of having a go. It’s not that I think I’m particularly worse at it than other people, I just think most of us don’t really know what we’re doing (well, I don’t think it’s just me).

So when something does click and make sense, I get, well, a little bitΒ over excited. I’m like, woooooohay! I get something! And I’m having one of these moments with beliefs.

About ten years ago I did an NLP training course at work. It was an intensive Continue reading