Into The Groove

‘And you can dance. For inspiration. Come on. I’m waiting.’ Madonna

My groove is officially back – I may not be donning lycra (or fashioning a pillow face on Graham Norton) but my world has returned to its vibrant colourful state, and the grey has vanished as mysteriously as it arrived.

I am not sure why – maybe it was the ‘showing up’ last week and keeping up with the feel good tactics. Maybe it was the extra care I took of myself (I must confess to some extra affirmations. Yes, the crazy talking out loud to herself woman made a comeback). Maybe it was upping my hypnotherapy, which always seems to sort my head out. Or maybe it was the laughter in my latest best friend therapy session rendezvous (people were actually staring we were laughing so loudly). Or maybe it was the cuddles with my friend’s baby, and nuzzling into her so I could savour that delicious baby smell. Or maybe it was hanging out with my husband this weekend, shutting ourselves away from the world and relishing our alone time. Or maybe it is simply that the planets have realigned themselves.

If I am honest, I don’t really care! I am just glad to be feeling like me again – the me who is just happy; the me who loves life with ease and fervour.

And as I reflect on the last week or so, I realise I have actually taken away some tasty learning nuggets. (And if I can turn something into a learning opportunity, that seems to make me even happier.) For a start, although mentally I had a rough week and everything felt like an effort, I could still do everything; my body did not break down just because my mind wasn’t in the mood (and this feels like another glorious confirmation of how strong my body is now).

I have also realised that I don’t need to be in the ‘isn’t life amazing’ bubble to validate that I have made a success of my recovery journey; that a bad week is just a bad week; that it is temporary and I can ride it out.

And I am reminded that being surrounded by inspiring people – in real life and virtually – makes such a difference to my life. Having the right people on my side, people who encourage me to carry on moving forward; people who know how to support me without leading me down the tempting self-limiting road; people who have my best interest at heart, quite simply lifts me.

Conversely, I am also learning, to not take on board the comments from people who don’t seem to want the best for me, who seem to want to hold me back. I can be oversensitive (oh alright, I am oversensitive!) and this is such an important lesson for me; to trust my instincts and not be knocked by people who aren’t so supportive.

So I am not sure I will stop aspiring to be in the ‘isn’t life amazing’ bubble, because that feels like something I fundamentally believe, that I want to believe, but I am no longer scared of feeling fed up; I am no longer expecting myself to be in that bubble all the time (just most of the time will do!)

I can trust that if I feel fed up it is temporary, it doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate my wonderful life, it just means I am accepting that I am human.

So here’s to being amazing some of the time…and human the rest of the time.

14 thoughts on “Into The Groove

  1. GO Karen!! Good to hear your Va va voom is back!! Maybe the planets are realigning and the next writing gig is about to show itself.. You are doing great guns and am sure this is another step in the recovery journey 🙂

  2. Nice post Karen. It reminded me of when I first got into self-development. I thought I have to always be positive and life always has to great. These days I like to take comfort in the wisdom that some days life is good. Other days it isn’t. Both are cool though.

      • Things are pretty good with me. My guess is that it was a combination of all those things that happened – and that an analysis of them would lead to a good preliminary list of what you need to be healthy. I’m quite an analytical person I guess.

        My question would be: Is the making something of your life the reward or is it to get a reward? – and if so what would it be? Sorry if this is sounding over serious, that is one part of me that I’ve come to accept.

        • Yes, I am quite analytical too (and this stuff fascinates me).

          I don’t think it is about reward, I think it is about appreciating how precious life is and wanting to make the most of life. And serious is fine by me Evan – for today anyway!

          I enjoy your comments, they always make me think…x

  3. Hi Karen!

    Great to hear you have banished the blues! We all get those times,even, as you said in your last post, when things are good – then of course it is a bit baffling. I think it is simply that sometimes our inner selves and what is going on around us are a bit of sync……and January is a classic grey period!!
    You have gone from strength to strength with your recovery and your writing and that is something to be celebrated! We all know the “limiters” – some have limited themselves so it is
    hard for them to see others extend themselves, some also do it out of genuine concern. I get it a lot too as I have made huge strides in my recovery; so many people who look at me with a worried look and a “Be careful” uttered heavily. Well, I try now to smile graciously and thank them for their concern but assure them that actually I am doing very well. I no longer feel angry about it, I simply dismiss their attempts at limiting me silently and serenely (why would I let such negativity invade my soul?!), and in the knowledge that no-one knows our bodies like we do and of course we do take care when necessary!

    • Hi Maggie

      Such wise words – thank you.

      I think it freaked me out as it is the first time since I have been well that I have felt blue, but I guess I have a lot of normal behaviour and feelings to relearn (and to accept that I am human!)

      It’s fantastic to hear you are doing so well – and interesting to hear your perspective on self-limiting comments. Yes, of course, some (maybe all) of it is well intentioned, even if it doesn’t always feel like it! And I love your approach of not letting negativity invade your soul. Obviously, with writing I am putting myself out there so I need to accept that everyone has different opinions – but I also need to accept that it doesn’t need to steer me off my path.

      And yes, having the confidence to trust that we really do know our bodies best has been a key part of recovery for me too.

      Thank you for the support Maggie and may you too carry on going from strength to strength.

      Here’s to protecting our souls from any negative invasions! Xx

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