Putting myself about

I sat back and took a sip of chilled Sauvignon Blanc and smiled at my best friend. I knew we were both having the same thought: this is our most precious time of the week (sorry Husbands), Karen and Emma time. The time when the world stands still, the time when we share our inner most thoughts – often evil ones, the time when we laugh so loud people stare, the time when we talk about serious stuff, the time when we talk about nonsense. (A time my husband considers as therapeutic – and invariably less expensive! – as any of the ‘treatments’ I indulge in.)

We catch up on each other’s lives, craving delicious detail after not seeing each other for three weeks (a time span we both consider far too long; and a time span that puts our emotional health at risk: confirmed with the sharing of two melt-downs – one each).

‘How’s the writing going?’ asks my ever supportive friend.

‘I had a guest post published on Mr Smiley’s blog last week’ I say happily. ‘I love it in the personal development world, everyone gives you compliments and you come away feeling amazing.’

‘They can be sooo serious though can’t they,’ says Emma. She is not a personal development junkie like me, I know she sometimes has to resist rolling her eyes at my latest treatment or positive thinking crush – sometimes she doesn’t catch her eyes in time, which always amuses us.

We go off on a tangent, laughing at the…well, let’s keep our evil thoughts to ourselves. Not Mr Smiley though, he is lovely and warm and funny and even recognises sarcasm.

‘And I’ve entered a writing competition. Do you remember last time I saw you, you were reading a copy of Stylist when I arrived? And almost in passing I said to you I wonder if I could write for them? Anyway, I forgot all about the conversation, then a few days later I saw a writing competition for them. Spooky or what?’

‘It’s a sign,’ proclaims Emma, as any good best friend would (and no eye rolling in sight).

‘And I spoke to another lady about some copywriting work and I’ve done some work for James (or Toy Boy to you); and I contacted Action for M.E. to see if there were any opportunities to write for their magazine again – they’re going to get back to me after their next editorial meeting.’

‘You’ve done loads,’ she observes, excited for me. I can almost see the pompoms in her hand.

‘Oh and I nearly forgot, I’ve got a piece being published on a new travel website.

‘You’ve achieved more than me in the last couple of weeks,’ she teases.

We both go quiet for a moment; we both understand the significance of what she has just said.

‘When I think back to when you started writing Sofa and the City, you are in such a different place.’

Sometimes it takes a best friend and a glass of wine to truly realise how far you have come: I knew I was making progress with my writing goals, but it wasn’t until I stopped and summarised it to Emma, I realised how much I have done in the last few weeks.

There is a lot of feeling the fear and doing it anyway mind; the self doubts of not being good enough still swirl round my head, sometimes they even stomp, but I don’t let them stop me from pressing send (thank God I pitch from the privacy of a lap-top and it doesn’t involve some X Factor style audition). And I know I need to be zealous with the send button – people aren’t going to stumble across me on my purple sofa and offer me writing opportunities; they have to know I exist.

So I am putting myself out there as a writer; putting myself out there as available; putting myself out there because I know I have to.

I tell you, reinvention is scary – but it is also exciting. Every time I press send, I increase my confidence. Every time I write for someone else, I improve my writing. And every time I put something out into the universe, I increase my chances of turning this dream into a reality.

So universe, do your thing…I know you can’t say yes to everything, but you could say yes to somethings (notice how I am being greedy and going for the plural) – you can start with a writing competition, if you like.

14 thoughts on “Putting myself about

  1. I think you will succeed, I KNOW you will. You have such a wonderful way with words and easy expression. A lot of what youve written here resonates & relates to my path too & makes me all emotional also, as it reminds me of how far Ive come too! I think I may have to print bits off from this and stick em up!!!!

    Im standing on the sidelines with the universe & encouraging to make your writing path take off.

    I know Ive said it before, but Im so glad we’ve connected at the time we have.

    Uberness to you & your current achievements (& to me Iv’e got me some super stitching to learn)!!!

    Mel xx

    • I am loving the idea of me stuck on your wall!

      Thank you so much sweetheart for the words of encouragement. And I too am so glad we have connected; we do seem to be kindred spirits on our paths to wellness.

      I know you are working on your own exciting projects right now, so I’ve got my pompoms out for you too! 🙂

      Come on universe…get to work.


  2. I’m sure you’ll do really well with your writing. It is certainly very enjoyable to read your blog and I don’t read much so that is saying something. It is also nice to hear about the positive developments in your life and how much you have moved on. I’m so impressed. And most of all, it makes me smile that you and Emma are still bestest chums after all these years.
    Take care,
    Susie xx

    • Hey Susie

      How lovely of you to come by again. And receiving compliments is always a pleasure (I know some people don’t like compliments, me I love ’em!)

      We have been friends for something like *gulp* 20 years. How mad is that?

      Hope all is well with you…xx

  3. Oh dear I’ve been sick (and well behaved) for so long that all I got from that lovely, long, brave, funny, positive, achievement packed post was…mmm sauvignon blanc. I miss you, sauvignon blanc and the way girly chat is always more poignant and world defining when shared over a glass or two.

    Life cravings aside, in my expert non-literary opinion you write beautifully and shouldn’t let The Send button put you off, putting it about.

    Congratulations for getting well, rebuilding your confidence and thank you for your lovely posts they are very uplifting, but please not too much about wine or food… I might do something slightly mad and break my health enforced diet.

    Cheers Sarah.B

    • Oh, I love your comments Sarah – you always make me laugh.

      And just to clarify, my glass of Sauvignon Blanc was on a Saturday. There has been no more ‘lushing’ in the week – it seems visualising a glass of wine as a hamburger is putting me off, well putting me off Monday to Thursday anyway.

      Oh I hear you on the strict diet – well, I partly hear you. I certainly couldn’t tolerate alcohol very well when I was really poorly. It is getting better that has led me to drinking more – hilarious.

      Thank you for the wonderful words of support; you are just lovely…xx

  4. Hey Karen, great to hear that you are ‘putting yourself about’ with regards to your writing of course 🙂

    It was great to get an email from you, I haven’t heard from you in ages, and yes I do remember you.

    Loving the new blog and would welcome you as a guest author on CYT/

    Keep going Karen, you’re doing brilliant.

  5. So I guess I’m putting myself about over at CYT too 😉

    Thank you so much for taking the time to come over and comment – another example of you being a nice guy eh!

    I look forward to being on CYT soon – well soonish, I know how popular you are…


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